He Said: Exams

Exam week is approaching and students everywhere are gearing up.

We all have our pre-exam traditions like emailing professors, stocking up on coffee or finally getting that Adderall prescription filled. But there isn’t anything that I love more than reading day.

Now, I realize this can hardly be considered a tradition, since it is imposed by most universities, but for the sake of this article let’s just consider it one.

Throughout the year, my body rebels against the routine that accompanies school. Between classes, weekly meetings and rigorously outlined activities, I get worn out.

I like to think that I live my life on the edge, and doing the same thing every day is pretty much the definition of draining. For this reason, I love reading day.

Although it is scheduled and technically routine, you never know what reading day has in store.

All-male breakfast at IHOP that lasts a few hours? Check. Watch an entire season of “Dexter”? Maybe. Go home on a quick day trip? Probably not. No matter what you choose, the possibilities are endless on reading day.

Sure, some studying should probably be done, but when you’re a history major, pretty much all of your exams are essays, which have been under construction for weeks. So no cramming is really needed.

That’s why I enjoy exam week and reading day. Routines and schedules go out the window and for a short period of time I get to experience an almost mini-vacation, with the exception of editing for grammar and content.

There’s only one thing I really hate about exam week: everyone complaining about taking their exams. Facebook is filled with mindless chatter complaining about how in your anatomy class, you have to know which bones go where.

I know I can get an occasional academic gripe in now and then, but it’s pretty illogical if you consider it. We’re paying to go to college.

If you don’t want to memorize what the medulla oblongata is, then don’t. No one is forcing you to take exams, so try to tone back any ill-conceived soliloquies you’re just raring to blast all your social media friends with.

At the end of the day, exams aren’t the end of the world, and we all chose to be here, so suck it up and hit the books.  

On that negative note, try to join me in looking on the bright side. Experience exam week this year in a new and crazy way. Instead of dread and loathing, look forward to exams with optimism in your hearts and a song on your lips. It will make the week a lot more enjoyable for everyone and yourself included.

#Carrindiewedding Part 3

My eyes opened and I looked to my left. For the weekend, I was sharing a bed with my roommate Evan. He was lightly snoring and looked peaceful as always. Jeremy and Joe were my other two hotelmates. Joe was showering, and Jeremy was reading in the corner. I woke up Evan, and got dressed. My other hotel mates got ready for the day and went downstairs for a quick breakfast before the day began.

The rested travelers boarded the charter bus and then Dr. Stuever got on. He promised us a day that we would never forget, seeing the sights and hearing the sounds of the most interesting city on earth: Lawrence, Kansas.

Although I'm unsure if Dr. S has ever been a tour guide, if saving people's lives ever falls through, he has a back up. The bus took us on a tour of Lawrence, focusing primarily on KU. As we drove, the good doctor regaled us with stories of the history of KU basketball and why everyone hates Missouri (if you don't you probably should). The tour ended with a quick rundown of the main street in Lawrence, before we disembarked by the post office. We were told we had three hours to shop, eat and explore and then the mob of us set off to explore the commerce and fine dining that Kansas had to offer.

Time seems to move slower in Lawrence. The city itself is a hipster paradise filled with chic clothing and buildings that seem straight out of the late 70's. Even the weather appeared to be more hip than the average Virginia day.

We looked in shops, saw a lot of hipsters and families, and eventually ate lunch at a pizza place. It was good, and I bought a shirt from the only surf shop within hundreds of miles.

Sooner than seemed possible, the group headed back to the bus, it was time to prepare for the wedding.

Once back at the Best Western, everyone put on their finest Kansas apparel. Boys in their ties and girls in their dresses, we were prepared for the best wedding Kansas had ever and probably will ever see.

Upon arriving at the location, we walked up a trail to the clearing which contained the chairs and other things needed for an occasion such as this. Taking my seat, voices around me murmured with excited anticipation for the ceremony to begin. I could see John through the woods. Wearing his skinny tie and suspenders, he looked like a modern day Walt Whitman, ready to burst into poetry at any second,

Soon enough, the single guitarist started ripping off a steady beat, and Stef materialized out of the woods. Enchanting in her dress, and nimble as a wood elf, she made her way up the aisle, with onlookers speechless at her beauty and grace. A single tear appeared at Johns eye, almost invisible because of the vast smile encompassing his face.

Ryder preceded over the wedding, and it was filled with Scripture, God's promises for marriage and laughter about how cold it was. The I do's were said, the bride and groom kissed, and then it was off to the reception on the other side of the pond.

Dinner is one of my favorite times of the day, and the Carr wedding was no exception. The catering was wonderful, my favorite was the mashed potatoes, which were scrum-diddily-umptious.

After the food, toasts were given and received, Mezz's mike didn't work, and then it was onto the rest of the evening: dancing.

We danced and danced. Liquid courage was apparent in some as they approached that special girl and guy and asked for a slow dance. Kansasians and Virginians united in square dancing and the wobble and the fairy tale continued.

Sadly, fairy tales have to come to an end. The wedding and reception was over. Sparklers were lit and John and Stef drove away in their carriage (Ford Taurus) and onto the rest of their lives. The bus was loaded up again, and the giddy wedding guests were driven back to the Best Western.

Once home, some went to bed. Others decided to venture out again into the cold Kansas night to a local restaurant called "The Phoggy Dog." This family friendly venue provided a setting for laughter and reminiscing  between friends old and new.

Morning came all too soon and the bus departed back to Virginia. The ride seemed longer this time as spirits were heavy with the impending work week. After a few close calls where we almost stopped at Denny's again, we arrived back at the Wal-Mart in Richmond around 6 a.m. on Monday morning. The weekend was over, but it will always be remembered.

He Said: TV Shows

Before this past year, I never would have considered myself a big TV guy. For the first 20 or so years of my life, I had always enjoyed reading and movies much more than television show, which you have to watch week in and week out to make sure you don’t miss any major happenings. That phase of my life ended when I started watching the show Dexter.

I was gripped by its dark humor and plot twists. Soon came Game of Thrones, followed by Sons of Anarchy and now Grimm. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of great stories that were so readily available at the click of a button.

I’ve got to admit, though, it is exhausting watching all those shows. Trying to keep up with that many characters on a personal level is tough. Because of Hulu, I usually just wait and watch my shows in a one day stretch on Friday, back to back to back. I laugh, I cry. It’s an emotional roller coaster. But it’s a good emotional roller coaster because all of those shows are intriguing and (somewhat) thought provoking.

At this point I like to consider myself as something of a TV aficionado. Hopefully, my familiarity will spare you having to experience miserable 30-minute segments of your life whenever you want to try a new show.

Alas, with good comes evil, and along with my discovery of great television, I’ve also discovered some shows that are less than satisfactory. This summer, my roommates got in the habit of watching “House Hunters” and “Property Brothers” on HGTV. I don’t know what drove grown men  to watch young couples visit different houses along the East Coast, but I hope it never affects me.

Every time HGTV comes on, I feel like I’m at my grandmas house, because that was literally the only channel she ever watched. I’m not sure if the shows are bad, or if it is still a negative connotation from when I was seven, but if HGTV is on I have to leave the room.

I’m going to go ahead and be judgmental and say that both Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl are bad. I’ve never seen either (thankfully), and I’m sure my esteemed she said counterpart will probably write an expose on how watching these two shows should be mandatory and I’m a sexist pig, but I stand by my comment. If the commercials are annoying, the show is bound to be (i.e. the recent Presidential election).

That’s really all I’ve got. All shows are still stories, and stories aren’t automatically bad if they aren’t Harry Potter; they’re just mediocre. The same is true with television; not every show is going to be a Sons of Anarchy, but that doesn’t make it a Gossip Girl. But now, armed with the knowledge of the very best and worst shows on television, grab the remote, kickback and watch a story unfold before your very eyes.

Who knows, you may end up being pleasantly surprised.

He Said: Preparing for Sandy

I scanned my food shelf and this is what I saw: croutons, extra virgin olive oil and an empty McDonald’s cup. Things were looking grim. With Hurricane Sandy threatening Blacksburg with 1/2 an inch of snow and 29 mile-an-hour winds, preparation was key; with those kinds of conditions, who knew what could happen? I needed food.

Kroger was a mad house. Everyone was frantically attacking the bottled water, canned veggies, and 24-packs of Natty Light with a fervor rarely seen. I quickly made my way to the scented candles. Rumors were abounding that power was out already in The Village and Terrace View, and I knew my house might very well be next. Light was needed, as well as the lilac scent to make my house smell all flowery and less like the body odor of grown men who can’t shower because there isn’t hot water.

I got home and quickly made my house look like a seance was about to be performed with candles everywhere. I had food on my shelf and water bottles hidden beneath my bed. I then went into the bathroom and filled the bathtub with hot water in case the storm turned into an apocalypse. I was almost ready for the impending doom of Sandy.

Weeks ago, my roommates and I had decided being frugal was more important than things like warmth and comfort. So we had vowed not to turn on the heat until at least halfway into November. The blizzard was trying to speed up our schedule and we couldn’t let this happen. I ran into the yard and hastily started chopping wood for our fireplace. It may have been the last line of defense.

Once wood chopping was finished, I returned inside and went to wash my face. I walked into my bathroom and saw something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. My roommate Evan was whistling a merry tune and taking a bath in the tub I had just cleaned and filled with hot water. I don’t know where he got the bubble mix from and didn’t think to ask either. I released a howl of despair and ran from the bathroom, desperate to get away from the image now burned into my retinas.

Even without the bathtub full of water, I calmed myself down, telling myself that we would be ok. I had to be strong for my roommates, who were bordering near hysteria. Frankenstorm wouldn’t get the best of me.

In all honesty though, the storm was pretty serious, and as images came rolling in from around the country, it was a bit scary. Although Sandy didn’t hit Blacksburg very hard, we’re sure to face some big snows come winter. Before every blizzard, be sure to prepare yourself for the worst. As the old saying goes, better safe than sorry.

He Said: Halloween Costumes

I’m not a huge fan of Halloween. Ever since I grew too tall and neighborhood adults started making cynical comments and being misers with their candy, some of the magic of this scary day has worn off. However after a few years of college, I see that I am in a small and shrinking minority. College students treat Halloween with awe-inspiring reverence normally reserved for religious events and Hokie football. Weeks are spent before hand picking the best costume, arranging plans for which parties to attend and contemplating how much skin you can show before being charged with public indecency. Last year when temperatures dropped below freezing, the bitterness was almost palpable. At least until around 11 o’clock, when no one really seemed to care anymore.

                This year the weather is promising to be far better and folks on campus and beyond are in full swing of costume preparation. Chatter concerning the subject can be heard all over. Should I be a witch again? Are bunny costumes cliché? Pants: how necessary are they? These are the concerns of our generation.

                Although I claim to be no expert on the subject, I have been considering different fun costumes ideas for the past few days, jotting down notes and creepily giggling to myself in public. These are the few I came up with, so if you’re currently about to breakdown in an anxiety attack because you can’t choose between being Petey the Pirate and Scuba Steve; take heart, because you now have fallbacks.

Logan Thomas: Go invest in a number 3 jersey, acquire some stilts and you’re good to go. White pants are fine but if you go full pads more power to you.

Kanye West: You can dress up in shades and a leather jacket if you want, but this one is more about attitude. Compliment yourself constantly, refer to yourself as “Mr. West” in the third person, and interrupt people whenever possible.

Ke$ha: This one isn’t that creative and is probably verging on the point of overdone, but the concept of a major music artist spelling their name with a money sign is hilarious. To get this costume down, just don’t sleep or shower for a few days. Or do some meth. Your choice.

G.E.R.M.A.N. Club Program Salesman: Super easy. Dress Business Casual and rock some free VT shades. Carry around a week old program saying “5 dollars,” over and over.

Hipster: Go to any vintage clothing store (aka Goodwill) or just wear stuff that was popular in the 70’s. Ride a fixie, listen to some vinyls (it just sounds so much more authentic, you know?), and write a blog filled with self-angst. Be warned however, if you choose to dress too cool for school, you probably shouldn’t attend any Halloween bashes, way too mainstream.

So, if you are struggling to decide on your All Hallows Eve wardrobe, found my ideas ridiculously clever, or are Logan Thomas, you should consider trying out one of these. Or use one as a last resort. Either or. 

#Carrindiewedding Part 2

As time goes on, my recollection of this glorious weekend seems to be getting phoggy. I will try to quickly follow this blog with #Carrindiewedding Part 3.

JOHN 1:46

"Kansas! Can anything good come from there?" Nacho asked. "Come and see," said JohnxCarr.  
(The Message: Midwest Remix)

My eyes shot open as I felt the bus slowly jar to a halt. Aisle lights lazily flickered on, and the bus' inhabitants started to stir and mumble. I looked out the window. We were in a desolate wasteland, with only one freestanding building in sight over to our right. Denny's. I looked at my watch and saw it was 5:45 in the morning. I growled low beneath my breath, and stretched my arms. Most of the girls had somehow managed to stay asleep through this change of momentum and lighting, and were just now awaking. I sat back down intending to go back to sleep when the bus' doors opened up and Willie the bus driver climbed inside after his quick smoke break. "Ya'llwantbreakfastdon'tcha?" He yelled in his peculiar drawl to us all. Across the aisle, Dan Griffin nodded his head in agreement and said something to the effect of, yes, he did want breakfast except with more expletives. Lester silently arose and lumbered off the bus and the rest of us soon followed, in various forms of consciousness.

Once inside, we overwhelmed the understaffed Denny's with orders of Grandslamwhiches, coffee and other laxatives. They bravely rose to the challenge, quickly and courteously bringing us mounds of processed food to the numerous tables. We plunged into heartily  and then much like cattle were herded to the cashier and then back to the bus.*

The next ten hours or so passed in a flurry of sleep, Friday Night Lights, dirty truck stops and the reek of the gag-inducing on bus restroom. Next thing we knew, we were pulling into the Best Western of Lawrence.

This was our first interaction with the mysterious man known as Dr. Stuever. A hush passed through the bus as his powerful voice asserted itself. Willie, cowering in fear and awe, huddled in his bus seat gazing up at the Father himself. The good doctor then explained what the evening would consist of (checking into the Best Western, Rehearsal Dinner, home etc.) With a flourish, he officially welcomed us to the Midwest, encouraged us to take a shower before the rehearsal (the bus was pretty pungent at this point), and told us that we had 45 minutes before we had to be at the bus, or it would leave us.

After quickly changing, the whole crew loaded up and embarked to the Garden of Stuever, where we were greeted with BBQ, Free-State Drinks, and the Colonel. The hours passed quickly with laughter, tears, and two old dogs who loved to be pet.

Later on, the females all headed back to the hotel, and the fellas hung out having a semi-bachelor party for John Carr. For hours we sat around a few fires sharing stories, recounting events and encouraging John in his soon to be marriage. Everyone then hopped in some cars and were driven back to the hotel.

Most people went to sleep at this point, but James Thomas Tetsuo Lopaka Tworek and myself both decided to explore Kansas a bit more. Two hours later, we headed back to the hotel, and joined our comrades in blissful sleep. Tomorrow was wedding day, and was sure to be filled with surprises.

*side note: Throughout the 40 combined hours of being on a bus to and from VA, there were no sightings of Willie or his partner in crime ever consuming any food. As far as I could tell, they were running purely off tobacco and their passion for driving.

Happily Hidden in the Wide Open of Christ's Glory

This was written by Byron Yawn at thetrajectory.org

“If one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.” – 1 Corinthians 12:26

The implication here stings. “The more attention my ministry receives the less people should notice me.” How’s that even possible? It takes God to pull this off. Only God can gift a man, raise his ministry to a prominent position and simultaneously distract attention away from the man. Only the glory of Jesus is big enough to hide the pride of a human instrument. Only the grace of God is great enough to cause a very gifted man to want to be hidden.

Normally, the personal effect of an elevated platform is anything but invisibility. Our bottom feeding flesh naturally trolls for the praise of men. We love it. But it belongs to another. The glory is God’s, but we’re glory bootleggers who smuggle it out in compliments and acclaim. But, this is not all. From the other side, our typical response to the honor of another is anything but rejoicing. We’re suspicious. We’re jealous. We’re critical. We’re discontent. Or, we’re groupies. For some it’s their duty to diminish another by pointing out their flaws. For others it is their aim to ruin them by praising their gifts. Rarely, do we estimate the man appropriately. Rarely, does the man appreciate it when we do.

What’s in view here is a disposition which shuts the mouths of critics and devotees alike. Pure servants are rare. (Like a unicorn running through your back yard kind of rare.) It’s like when a bond-servant steps forward to announces his master’s presence. The sooner he steps back the sooner his role is fulfilled. (No one recalls the name or skill of the park ranger who led them out on to the Sky Walk at the Grand Canyon. Which means… he performed flawlessly.) The more gifted he is at his role the more people look past him. When a gifted man esteems himself a slave of Christ and lives in view of his grandness – he can easily remain in the shadows even when he is the center of attention. The more attention he receives the more his life announces someone greater.

All this makes little sense in our economy of things. But, true humility has the capacity to hide the most gifted person in the wide open. Seriously, who cares about the slave when the Master is present? Before God, real giftedness is measured in how inclined the observer is to overlook you when you are done. It’s counter intuitive I know, but such is the way of God Almighty. It’s all in reverse. It’s analogous to the humility of Christ. His condescension is the reason we exalt him. His obscurity is the reason we proclaim him. His death is the reason we live. Similarly, honor is a love for obscurity. That is… if we view ourselves as slaves first.

Ministry is a bizarre turn of events. The servants of the risen Lord receive more honor on a given Sunday than their Lord did the entire time he was upon earth (of course, this won’t last.) Yet, the obscurity of our Lord is the reason we have platforms at all. And, we – in our moments of weakness – feel slighted when people rush past us to him. We’re insane. Yet, his righteous life saved me from the consequence of such stupidity. The praise Jesus deserves is a result of his selflessness. The praise we covet is a result of our selfishness. One saved us from the other. This is our message.

There are notable men among us whose gifts and ingenuity can’t be denied. They are uniquely gifted. Then there are those men (being clearly gifted above others) who announce Jesus from the shadow of their privileged position. The former you admire. With the latter you admire his admiration for Christ. It is a self-evident quality. We “rejoice” in their honor because they bring honor to Christ. We can’t quite see them and see them nonetheless. We’re grateful for them, but realize rocks are in a queue waiting to step in. Besides, Jesus needs no introduction. He is all. Our opportunities are merely an infinite redundancy built into a universe designed to praise him whether we ever exist or not.

Thank you Community Bible Church for letting me lead you out into the abyss of Christ’s glory every Sunday.

Thinking Like Jesus by R.C. Sproul

Thinking Like Jesus

by R.C. Sproul

Several years ago, I was asked to give a convocation address at a major theological seminary in America. In that address, I spoke about the critical role of logic in biblical interpretation, and I pleaded for seminaries to include courses on logic in their required curricula. In almost any seminary’s course of study, students are required to learn something of the original biblical languages, Hebrew and Greek. They are taught to look at the historical background of the text, and they learn basic principles of interpretation. These are all important and valuable skills for being good stewards of the Word of God. However, the main reason why errors in biblical interpretation occur is not because the reader lacks a knowledge of Hebrew or of the situation in which the biblical book was written. The number one cause for misunderstanding the Scriptures is making illegitimate inferences from the text. It is my firm belief that these faulty inferences would be less likely if biblical interpreters were more skilled in basic principles of logic.

Let me give an example of the kind of faulty inferences I have in mind. I doubt I have ever had a discussion on the question of God’s sovereign election without someone quoting John 3:16 and saying, “But doesn’t the Bible say that ‘God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life’”? I immediately agree that the Bible says that. If we were to translate that truth into logical propositions, we would say that all who believe will have eternal life, and no one who has eternal life will perish, because perishing and eternal life are polar opposites in terms of the consequences of belief. However, this text says absolutely nothing about human ability to believe in Jesus Christ. It tells us nothing about who will believe. Jesus said, “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him” (John 6:44). Here we have a universal negative that describes ability. No person has the ability to come to Jesus unless a particular condition is met by God. Yet this is forgotten in light of John 3:16, which says nothing about a prerequisite for faith. So, John 3:16, one of the most famous texts in all of the Bible, is routinely, regularly, and systematically butchered with faulty inferences and implications.

Why do such illegitimate inferences happen? Classical Christian theology, particularly Reformed theology, talks about the noetic effects of sin. The English word noetic derives from the Greek wordnous, which is often translated as “mind.” So, the noetic effects of sin are those consequences of the fall of man on the human intellect. The entire human person, including all of our faculties, was ravaged by the corruption of human nature. Our bodies die because of sin. The human will is in a state of moral bondage, in captivity to the evil desires and impulses of the heart. Our minds, likewise, are fallen, and our very ability to think has been severely weakened by the fall. I would guess that Adam’s IQ before the fall was off the charts. I doubt that he was given to making illegitimate inferences in his time of tending the garden. Rather, his mind was sharp and acute. But he lost that when he fell, and we lost it with him.

However, the fact that we are fallen does not mean that we no longer have the ability to think. We are all prone to error, but we also can learn to reason in an orderly, logical, and cogent fashion. It is my desire to see Christians think with the utmost cogency and clarity. So, as a matter of discipline, it is much to our benefit to study and master the elementary principles of reasoning so that we can, by the help of God the Holy Spirit, overcome to a certain degree the ravages of sin upon our thinking.

I do not think for a moment that any of us, as long as sin is in us, will ever become perfect in our reasoning. Sin prejudices us against the law of God for as long as we live, and we have to fight to overcome these basic distortions of the truth of God. But if we love God, not only with all of our hearts, our souls, and our strength, but also with our minds (Mark 12:30), we will be rigorous in our attempts to train our minds.

Yes, Adam had a keen mind before the fall. But I believe the world has never experienced such sound thinking as was manifested in the mind of Christ. I think that part of the perfect humanity of our Lord was that He never made an illegitimate inference. He never jumped to a conclusion that was unwarranted by the premises. His thinking was crystal clear and coherent. We are called to imitate our Lord in all things, including His thinking. Therefore, make it a matter of chief and earnest business in your life to love Him with all of your mind.

I read this today on http://www.ligonier.org it contains great supplemental readings, devotionals and podcasts. If you're looking for something to add to your quiet times, or help structure them, I recommend to check it out!

He Said: Scary Movies

This is my article about scary movies (kind of Halloween themed I guess?) This is also the first article where I was able to state that I am a Young Life Leader. I am hoping that those familiar with Young Life and it's mission will be able to either look back at old articles or see in upcoming ones that I am implying that there is Truth and  purpose in life and that it's our duty to find out what that Truth is. It's been pretty difficult putting this in writing that would be read/printed in a secular newspaper, but I've enjoyed it very much and am hoping to see fruit from it in the future. This article in particular doesn't have much in the way of pointing readers toward greater questions, but it is an important step in letting them know who I am as a person. Enjoy!

With Halloween swiftly approaching, scary movies are slowly coming out of their crypts and forcing their acknowledgement through trailers and previews. I’ve never been a fan of scary movies, and I think this had to do with a possibly traumatizing experience I had as a child.

The last scary movie that I watched of my own accord was Anaconda when I was six. Although most wouldn’t classify it as a “horror,” or “suspenseful,” to my younger self it was the epitome of fear. Gigantic snakes, foreboding music and Ice Cube’s acting combined into a perfect storm which haunted me for weeks with nightmares. After that experience, I have avoided scary movies like the plague. I don’t know what defines a traumatizing experience exactly, but if I had to guess, this would be it.

As time went on, the nightmares ended and I started to move past this event. Unfortunately, most of my peers growing up loved scary movies. On most occasions I was able to find some excuse to not see them: walking my dog, the Matrix being shown on TBS, etc. but there were a few times in high school when the girl I liked wanted to go see some variation of a Saw movie and I was forced to attend. I vividly remember sitting in the theatre knowing how ludicrous it looked for the 6’3, 200 lb. man to be cringing and crushing the popcorn container into a wad of greasy cardboard.

Post high school it has been much easier to avoid these films. With age comes maturity, and also my friends are way too cheap to spend ten bucks at the movie theatre. The only exception is that I lead Young Life at a local high school. Sadly, this causes for me to occasionally delve once again into the high school culture of scary movie fanaticism and therefore make a fool of myself once again. I don’t know if you have ever seen “Woman in Black,” starring Harry Potter, but be warned that it caused me to yelp like a small schoolgirl in a full movie theatre.

Even though I have been able to avoid scary movies more easily in the recent years, in the world we live in it is hard to sit down and watch any television without ads for scary movies leaving me anxious and scared. Most recently, titles like “Sinister,” and “Paranormal Activity 4,” have left me curled up on the couch momentarily paralyzed with fear. It truly is amazing that in less than two minutes producers can develop an ad that convinces me there is a murderer next door and a monster in my living room.

In conclusion, as Halloween approaches and freaky flicks once again rear their ugly heads, a few decisions must be made. Are you going to buy a ticket for the next horror blockbuster? Are you going to unplug your TV till November? Whatever your decisions may be, make sure of two things: that none of these star Ice Cube, and to always check your living room before you turn out the lights.

#Carrindiewedding Part 1

Thursday, Oct. 4th, 2012

The day was stressful to say the least. All throughout the state of Virginia 19-28 year olds were gearing up for the most important weekend of John and Stef's lives. That's right, it was wedding weekend. The bus was scheduled to leave for Lawrence at 8:15 p.m. from a desolate Wal-Mart parking lot in Richmond, VA, and there was so much left to do. Packing, homework, class; I cared nothing for my daily tasks with the trip so close at hand. All day I hurriedly finished my work that was due and packed my bags to the full with cool/hipster clothing so I could fit in with the Kansas/Chesapeake crowd.

At approximately 4:13 p.m. Jeremy, Sam, Joe and myself jumped in Jackson's van and headed down to get Charlie Blakely (also known as Chud, or Sunshine) from his apartment and to the bus. We found him sitting on the curb behind the Chipotle parking lot, holding his pillow in his lap and using his lacrosse bag as a back rest. We all let out a small cheer as he gave his slow, surfer wave and approached the car. Nonchalantly throwing his gear in, he gave us a "what's up?" with shred-knucks, and we hit the well-beaten path known as I-81 to our next location: Stuart's Draft, VA.

For some reason that morning, Evan "Bug" Underwood had left for his hometown. Though none of us at the time knew what he was doing, we steadily gleaned information throughout the day through tweets and instagrams. In a classic Evan maneuver, he was snackin' on a lady from Charlotttesville. They did classic Evan activities together (walking, apple picking) before Evan went to say farewell to his family in the late afternoon. No matter what he did throughout his day however, we knew the plan was to meet at the Chic-Fil-A, drive through for some dinner and put Bug in our car so we would know where he was.

The entire way to Stuart's Draft we remained in contact with Bug, texting, calling, etc. etc. Yet when we arrived at the Chic-Fil-A, we discovered Bug had yet to leave his house (another classic Bug move) so we went inside and stood in a huge line. Luckily, I was standing by Sam, because when we got to his front, we found that his former Young Life Leader Bruce, who is now a regional manager of Chic-Fil-A, was working the cash register. Bruce heard about our trip, and hooked us up with free meals. They were glorious.

After the long wait, Bug arrived and hopped into the backseat with Joe, happily munching on an apple and sipping on a soda (or 3). We were then off to the parking lot in Richmond. The rest of the drive went smoothly, with Sunshine working the iPod. We arrived relatively early to the parking lot, met up with old friends and new friends, and loitered in the aisles of the megastore for a while.

Around 8:30, the bus rolled into town. We launched our belongings in it's vast undercarriage and looked for seating arrangements which would be prime for sleeping. The Chesapeake boys were gettin' rowdy in the back, Joe was cuddling with Claire, and J.T. and I swapped stories about our lives. As the trip went on, Jake Fleming told a fabulous wives tale about Jim "Snackman" Pullizzi, and we were later moved to tears by the smell of the bathroom.

Soon midnight came, and people began to drift off to sleep. As I closed my eyes, I  could only imagine what the rest of the weekend would hold.

My Favorite Season

The leaves are changing colors, yoga pants are coming out in full force and freshmen are celebrating the completion of their first round of college examinations. That’s right, fall is in the air.

Remember in kindergarten how your teacher would make you draw a picture of your “favorite” season?  I, unable to decide, anxiety forcing my bladder almost to the bursting point, would sit frozen in my seat staring at my paper until she would come around to inspect them. Then I would grab a black crayon, squiggle a line and a snowman and resign myself to being a liar. I hate winter.

As the years passed, I would throw out different seasons as my favorite: summer because of the sun and the beach, spring because of the flowers and fall because of the ever so gentle chilly weather. But as a senior in college, I am firm in the fact that fall is the reigning champion of seasons. What is there not to love about it? Football, pretty leaves, multiple holidays and lots of pumpkin pie — it has something for everyone.

This is my last fall in Blacksburg, a time I have dreaded since first stepping on campus. I had never lived in the mountains before, yet I absolutely love the season here in the New River Valley. As I sit and contemplate this final hoorah, two things come to mind that I can eagerly await and that guarantee to be glorious occasions.

First off is Hallowillard. What is Hallowillard? Every year the house I live in and the apartments behind us throw a Halloween party of sorts for friends, family and the confused passersby. We turn our parking lot into an oasis of good old fashioned fun: carnival games, live music (Jimmy Fitch, check him out on Facebook) and possibly a petting zoo. We end the night with about 100 people square dancing, hoedown style. It’s tons of fun and you’re invited. Just head on down Willard Drive on Halloween night — you’ll know where to find us.

Second is Homecoming. Now, in years past, I have been one of the thousands who consider Homecoming as nothing more than a week filled with paper being shoved in your hands as you shuffle to class and a brief announcement at halftime. This year however, I have a personal stake in the race as my lovely girlfriend, Allie Golden, is on the court. She is kind, beautiful and almost unrealistically optimistic about everything. I have been busy helping her put up signs, wearing her T-shirt and changing my Facebook cover photo to the creepy face of Willy Wonka. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say vote for Al… but vote for Al.

No matter what you’re doing on Halloween or whether you dread Homecoming like the plague, make sure to take advantage of what fall has to offer. Hike the local trails, go to the football games, enjoy the beautiful landscape and eat pumpkin pie. You’ll only be in Blacksburg for so long: make the most of its best season.

He Said: Winter Weather

This is the article I spent the most time on thus far. Yay for editing... Shout out to twitter: JOHNXCARR for proofreading and a 20 minute phone call about dumb phrasing and story arcs.

I have a love/hate relationship with Blacksburg weather. Always surprising and shifty like a jungle cat, I love to live life on the edge, and the conditions in Blacksburg are always an adventure. Every Fall and Spring, waking up is filled with wonderment, will the rain continue until you start to consider building an ark and gathering two of each neighborhood animal? Will it be 80 degrees in mid-November? One never knows. What I do know, is that when the cold hands of Mother Nature descend upon the Burg, they come with a vengeance and are here to stay. The question remains unanswered as to why people respond to the frosty weather in the ways they do, but it is a fact that cold weather conditions never fail to cause people to dress in alien fashions which I do not understand. So, in the style of David Letterman, here is my top five list of dumb winter weather apparel.

5.  Thin Virginia Tech sweatshirts. I know that at least 50% of college students seem to own the classic Jansport sweatshirt in maroon, gray or orange with Virginia Tech stamped boldly on the front. Though these are a great asset for those not-quite-cold-only-slightly-chilly Fall days, midwinter they allow the icy tundra drill field winds to cut through you like a knife through butter. Fashion must take a backseat to warmth, no matter how much the Hokie Spirit has come upon you.

4.  Shorts. Its -13 degrees outside. You may want to have feeling in your legs in the next week or so.

3. Ugg Boots. They look like elephant feet. Don’t act like you don’t see it. Although I have never worn MUggs (Man Uggs) and cannot attest to how warm or comfortable they are, I do have eyes and can see that they are solely composed of cottonballs and recycled yoga mats. Blacksburg winters guarantee precipitation on the reg, and these boots clearly cannot stand up to the demands which the lakes of sidewalk slush daily make.

2. Pajama bottoms. Flimsy and unflattering, this fashion faux pas leads to nowhere but despair for the wearer and onlookers during the harsh winter months. I was a freshman once, and the temptation to wake up 3 minutes before a class, slip on shoes and go is one I can relate with. However, with experience comes wisdom, and I can confirm that these comfy monsters do little to negate the wind, rain, or ridgelines of the nether regions. Heed this advice and turn away from the appeal fellas. You’ll thank me later.

1. Yoga Pants/Leggings. These are the most unrealistic clothing item that any college student has ever dared to wear in Blacksburg winters. Now, speaking from familiarity, there isn’t much nicer than a set of UnderArmour heat gear to keep everything down below warm and cozy. I can promise though that there is always a layer safely on top of these conforming insulators. Girl leggings and yoga pants are a different story. Constructed without considering things like warmth, effectiveness, or decency; there is no chance that the millimeter of fabric stretched over the southern hemisphere of your body is providing any protection from the wind or the carnivorous eyes of your male classmates.

What do I recommend you ask? Layers. There’s hardly a worse feeling than walking from frigid conditions into a classroom which has been conserving heat since last June. You do not want to be in McBryde at 9 in the morning pouring sweat because of your thick woolen sweater.  Layers are the answer. Shed ‘em when you don’t need ‘em, use ‘em when you do. Take a page out of Shrek’s book and consider the majestic onion.

At the end of the day however, I am no fashion or heat transfer expert; just a simple man, trying to stay as warm as possible. As winter arrives, wear what you want; you’re all intelligent adults and can decide what garment will or will not prevent you from having frostbite come evening.

Senior Update

Already a month into Senior year, I feel it is high time for an update on your favorite house's members. What they've been up to, what they will be up to, and what they are up to.

Joe Danehower- Still jacked and still an engineer (surprisingly) Joe is off to the races already on his future, frantically researching grad schools but somehow still maintaining a strict workout regimen. He did get semi-offered a job in Boston (Congratulations Joe!) when asked about it he said, "Screw that, I'm not a dirty Yank." Joe has also started to try and take the helm of the hipster that John Carr left at Willard when he moved to the Midwest. Joe has started listening to mainstream hipster bands, and wearing button-downs exclusively.

Jeremy Mateyk- Still from the North, Jeremy is in his toughest semester so far at Tech, but still seems to be comfortably going on strong and steady as always. Already looking forward to next semester which contains 3 credit hours and lots of time at the Weirlab, Jeremy is maturing and considering jobs across the South, which like an epic romance novel, he has fallen in love cannot imagine living without her.

Evan Underwood- Though time may pass and the years may slow him down, Bug will be Bug. Still a hunter at heart, Bug has been advertising on Craig's List for land on which he can use his Elven bow and arrow. Unfortunately, Bug is not the most computer saavy person on the internet and posted his personal cell and email on CL. After receiving calls and emails concerning private meetings and dirty websites, he has removed his listing.

Sam Bowman- I guess Sam is still doing research in Roanoke. None of us really know what he is up to, because we don't go to Roanoke when he leaves the house. Maybe one day this semester I'll try and follow him without him noticing all day. That would be fun. Anyway, Sam's considering options for next year as well, and seems to be leaning towards moving to the jungles of New Guinea to become one with the culture and spread the Good News. Also, he hears there are tons of wild boars waiting to be attacked with a spear.

Jackson Strawn- Long and lean like a cat, Jackson has been back up to his old, sly tricks this semester. Still employed at DX, he has been working hard both academically and as a member of the food service alliance. He enjoys spending time with Miss Sierra Kimbel Freeze, and seems to always be going to her home to "chill," whatever that means.

James Harris- Stressed to the max by his extreme course load this semester, James is staying positive and in control. Currently filling out seminary applications, he plans to know where he will be next year by the end of October (looks like Charlotte is the front runner). Yes, I did just write this in third person.

John Howard Carr- Lawrence, Kansas. Employed by the local Boys and Girls Club as far as I can tell by his multiple instagrams and tweets.

Doug- On the trail

He Said: Sustainability

This was probably my least favorite topic to write on thus far.

When considering what to write about this week concerning the topic of sustainability, I felt woefully unprepared. The environment is a difficult thing to joke about, unless you are South Park talking about Al Gore. Comedy is always my go-to when writing about something I know little to nothing about.

Sustainability is not something I consider daily or really think about. This is not an excuse for my lack of concern for the future of our planet, but it is, I believe, a common standpoint of young adults. Why think about tomorrow when everything seems fine today? In fact, the only time my mind turns to sustainability is when it affects me directly through gas prices, and I send up a quick prayer for my car to somehow start running off water.

As sustainability week is upon us, it gives us all an opportune time to reflect on our habits that are hurting the environment. This planet is a gift to us and we need to be good stewards of it. Google searching pictures of pollution, images of smokestacks spewing dark clouds and cartoons of the earth sneezing are prevalent. The image that comes to my mind about the future, however, is from the movie “The Book of Eli.”

In a world that has been devastated by a nuclear war, the opening scene is a forest with ash steadily falling from the sky like snow with Denzel Washington wearing a gas mask. Though this is a bit of a stretch, from the amount of waste we produce and put in landfills, I’ve got to acknowledge that the earth is probably not doing too well.

I know that in the coming week I’m going to investigate the different programs this area has set in place to reduce pollution and promote sustainability. Not because I have a deep desire to, but rather because it is my responsibility as a member of the youngest generation to consider what the world is going to look like for my children and grandchildren if we continue on this pace of destruction.

I’m not asking you to become a hippie, start wearing tie-dye and homemade shoes made out of burlap. Nor am I saying that we should all convert our Volkswagen vans to run off vegetable oil and drive around talking about mother earth and father sky. What I am saying is that we should consider our habits and possibly change them in order to make a small difference.

When eating at West End, don’t order your food to go then sit down; eat it and throw your container on the dish return. When you leave your apartment or dorm room in the morning for class, be conscientious and turn off the lights. Ride, walk or carpool to campus. Whatever it is you decide, just try and stick to it and form a sustainable habit.

Sorry this article wasn’t funny or witty or what not. As I write it, I’m not feeling that humorous — more sad really. Google search images of pollution or landfills, and get a glimpse of what we’re doing to the earth. In the end, it’s really not that funny at all.

He Said: Victoria's Secret Concert

Third He Said! From September 13th, 2012.

Last year, Virginia Tech student’s facebook, twitter, and other social media accounts were overrun with notifications about the Victoria’s Secret Collegiate Showdown. We were locked in battle through several rounds with other notable universities, but were able to come together and win a free concert by Victoria’s Secret. Throughout the process, I was shocked and slightly disappointed by the amount of people who got behind this contest. Not because it wasn’t enough people, or because people weren’t passionate about getting support; quite the opposite really. I was upset because of the vast amount of people who were passionate and trying to rally others to the cause; a cause which frankly doesn’t matter.

We live in a society that’s all about me. The American Dream has been twisted and clichéd into the self-serving, instant gratification monster that it is today. When we live like this, we miss out on the opportunity to help others and truly make a difference.

What we need isn’t the Gym Class Heroes signing on the drillfield. What we need a change of heart toward service and self-sacrifice. When you work towards having a spirit of compassion, you get to see the world as it really is: a broken place filled with beautiful lost people, who need help.

Don’t get me wrong though, I understand that thus far I’ve sounded pretty high and righteous, pointing the finger at others and not seeing flaws in myself. I know it’s tough to serve, to put yourself in a humbling position, sacrificing time, money and resources. Thankfully, Virginia Tech is filled with loving service organizations who strive to facilitate students in helping those less fortunate.

A few groups in particular come to mind right away. Over the past few years, I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with Bryan Wynkoop, one of the most serving and passionate people I’ve met. He is a big part of putting on Relay for Life every year at Tech, and does a great job of making it fun and effective. Each year through Relay, Virginia Tech students raise hundreds of thousands of dollars to find the cure for cancer. Students Helping Honduras is another great organization here at Tech, they work to raise money and send help to build orphanages in impoverished regions of Honduras, and be a light to kids down there who have frequently been unloved and forgotten.

 So today, as your downloading Nickelback in order to get the sound of the Gym Class Heroes out of your ears, and signing up for the Hanes Collegiate Showdown, consider checking out a service organization and getting involved. Who knows maybe it’ll even be more fulfilling than the Victoria’s Secret free concert. Guess there’s only one way to find out.

He Said: Awkward Classmates

This is the second installment of my He Said Article, printed on September 7th, 2012.

He said:

I've always been a fan of people watching.

Not in a stalker kind of way, but rather in a humorous, waiting-for-others-to-fail kind of way.

My experiences have consisted of being in the dining halls watching someone sit at a table surrounded by others— but somehow enthralled while listening to Korn — and hanging in the Peddrew-Yates archway my freshman year during snowy winter nights and cheering when people ate it down the death trap stairs by D2.

I've always enjoyed the sport of sitting back and seeing how others operate. I’ve found however that the most satisfying place to people watch is in class.

We’ve all been there before. There's the shady looking guy sitting by the door, tense, waiting patiently for the professor to break in their talking, and he starts to get up. Then he sits back down when the steely eyes of a sixty-year-old business scholar scans his side of the room. He tenses again, then, as quietly as possible, grabs his bag and whisks out the door and off to Owens to beat the lunch rush or home for a rewarding mid-morning nap.

Sadly, I know I’ve been the watchee rather than the watcher before. The most embarrassing moment of my life happened in front of 11 classmates and my elderly humanities professor.

I’m not proud of what happened, and it remains a story of constant amusement among my roommates and close friends. It was a late afternoon class — the kind no one really wants to be in — on a Wednesday, when the subject matter is significantly less than stimulating. It’s not unusual for your eyes to begin to feel heavy and start to slip down.

Unfortunately, on this day I was feeling a bit… well, gassy. I knew falling asleep would be a bad move. But once your eyes are already on the way south and there’s no caffeine around, there’s no stopping it. I fought it off for as long as I could, but eventually I lost the battle and fell soundly asleep at my desk in the middle of the room.

It could’ve been one minute or it could have been forty — I’ll never know. I remember very clearly however, the exact moment I woke up. A sound like that of ripping paper awakened me from my slumber. My eyes shot open, but I managed to keep my head very still, leaning on my hand, not moving my body at all. Though I acted quickly and kept up the front of being sleepy and uninterested, I felt my face become warm and red.

The professor paused briefly from her lecture on Japanese religious beliefs, and my eyes met my roommate Jackson who, fortunately or not, sat next to me in this class. He gave me a quizzical look and mouthed the words, “Did you just fart?”

I nonchalantly shook my head no and lazily pointed to my shoe. Satisfied, he returned to taking his notes. My eyes weren’t heavy the rest of class, my heart pounding beneath my shirt. As class ended I shot out the door, happy to be away from the eyes of my judging peers, and swore to myself that never again would I fall asleep in class.

Though that promise has been broken since, I have continued to be an avid people-watcher — and watchee. I encourage you, whether you’re an average people-watcher or not, to take a stab at it and see what you can see.

I promise you’ll laugh, chuckle and at the very least, be much more wary of falling asleep in class.

He Said "Advice to Freshmen"

You may or may not know, but I'm currently the "He Said" writer for the Collegiate Times. It's a featured article where a girl and myself give our opinions and advice on different topics. This is the first week's topic, on "Advice to Freshmen." It was printed in the Collegiate Times on August 31st. He said: Ah, the most wonderful time of the year is upon us again. Pencils have been sharpened, the prices of backpacks and calculators have steadily crept up, and anxiety has wrapped its clammy hands around the hearts of those who are beginning their final year before graduation. That’s right, school has started. One of the most exciting parts of the new school year — for me at least — is the appearance of freshmen onto our beautiful campus. I know over the next four years they will make some of the best friends they could ask for, have tons of new and exciting experiences, and hopefully find that thing they are passionate about. Sure, watching them haul in unnecessary amounts of furniture and other bulky items up flights of stairs, with grumpy fathers and crying mothers gives me a certain perverse sense of pleasure that’s hard to describe, but that is neither here nor there. With the arrival of these young men and women on our campus, I think back to the days of old when I was entering campus for the first time. I can still feel the mixed feelings of excitement and dread as I watched my parents get back into their car and drive off into the sunset. Since the transition from high school to college was mildly difficult to say the least, I would like to give a few pieces of advice to the newest Hokies to make this change as painless as possible. First off, if a stranger ever yells and asks, “Are you a freshman?” say, "No." While walking down a street off campus at night my freshman year, a voice yelled this from a balcony. Naturally, I said yes, and was immediately sprayed with a super-soaker. As I walked back to campus with my pants soaked and my pride dampened, I found myself reevaluating the decisions that led me to this unpleasant point. It’s an extreme example, but is a lesson well learned nonetheless. Secondly, don’t spend all of September eating your meals with every freshman on your hall. It’s understandable that you don’t want to miss out on meeting someone who could become your best friend, but instead of 40 people eating at D2 every night, just grab a few people and eat together in a smaller, more intimate setting. That way you can actually get to know them and identify them by their personality as opposed to their room number, hometown and hair color. Finally, learn to go with the flow. This may or may not be your first time living in the same room with someone who isn’t your little brother. Don’t get bothered by trivial matters, because well, they’re trivial. If they snore, they can’t help it; don’t be paranoid and think they are trying to force you to have a mental breakdown. Go in to every possible roommate conflict understanding it may partly be your fault, and try to see it from their point of view. Also, save yourself a lot of time and hurt feelings by addressing the problem with them directly first. Don’t talk about it with the girls across the hall or with your buddies downstairs. It’s probably a simple fix and doesn’t need to be gossiped about. I hope some of this advice helps you, and if it doesn’t you’ll learn lessons the hard way and be a better person because of it. Enjoy the next four years class of 2016. I can guarantee you they’ll be best yet.

John's Getting Hitched

I recently received some news that surprised me, and also made me reevaluate the last three years of college. I am not John Carr's best man. I know, it shocked me too. The expected phone call never came. For weeks I sat down every evening by my phone and waited patiently for it to ring and hear my former housemates voice gleefully informing me of my honor and duty to be his second, his right hand, his brother at arms per say. But as time passed and I did not receive a call, it began to dawn on me that perhaps I hadn't been selected. Then I heard the news, and it was concrete. As you can imagine, I took this pretty hard. As a last ditch effort to vault myself into the best man spot, I have included the following Best Man Speech, which I have been planning for the past few years. Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends, Family and other various wedding attendees. I consider it an honor to be speaking here at the Wedding of a man who considers me to be his closest friend and confidant, yes, I am speaking about the illustrious John Carr. *Hand motion towards John* Now many of you probably think you know John pretty well. I would like to ask you tonight to reconsider. I want you to question how well you actually know John Howard Carr, son of The Colonel and Mary Carr, originally of Ohio. *wave to all Carrs in attendance* You see over the past two years, I learned a lot about John Carr. Some things I would rather forget, but most were educational, and gave me deep insight into the heart of the groom. *pause for dramatic effect* First, a lot of people would consider John "abrasive" *finger quotations* or "intimidating," *finger quotations* but these could not be farther from the truth. John Carr and Becca Fitz *acknowledge Becca* are the two nicest people I have ever met. You may not know it first with John, but maybe one day John says something to you that cooks your grits, and you lash out in anger. John is the kind of guy who hates there to be friction in relationships, he immediately tries to solve the problem and make things right. Secondly, a lot of you might be thinking, "John's too hipster and fashion chic to be my best friend." And let me tell you right now, you are correct. John is the second most fashionable guy here, second only to me. If you've ever wondered how John went off to college and his wardrobe suddenly consisted of more than ripped HaRdCoRe t-shirts, it's because he started wearing my hand me downs. As some of you may know I gained a significant amount of weight in college, and had to get new clothes. Well, the old ones had to go somewhere, and John jumped on the opportunity. *jump forward playfully* Third,a lot of you may be under the impression that the surfboard hanging on our house is because John is the "surfer". Well, kind of, there's two of us, and right now you're looking at the good one. *shred knucks* Since this information may be coming as a shock to some of you, I've included some time here for a moment of silent reflection... Well.. what more can I say? John you're a great guy, and I am happy you consider me your best friend. It's been a pleasure watching you grow and mature these past few years, and best of luck to you and Stef in the future. Can't wait for the three of us to leave on the honey moon tomorrow, Florida Keys here I come! To John and Stef *toast* In all honesty though John, I speak for all the housemates when we say we're proud and excited for you to start this new season in your life. We can't wait to be reunited at your wedding, and to support you in this next step. We love you, miss you, and in a couple weeks after a 20 hour bus ride, we'll see you again.

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

This past semester, two Willard House residents decided to take a job working at DX, the 7-11 like dining hall hotspot. Open till 2 am, John Carr and Jackson Strawn work every Wednesday night from 7-3 AM. Quickly rising through the ranks of DX workers, they're known as the dynamic duo to their supervisors: quick, efficient, and great at making less than acceptable food products for the masses. Like Joe said in his blog about yours truly, I do get a strange satisfaction about seeing them in their uniforms hustling around under the strict eye of Virginia Tech Dining Services. I don't know what it is... and I get the feeling watching Jackson work more than John. When I get to watch Jackson wear that tiny hat and make wraps, I feel like flying. Words however, are not enough to explain this love of mine, so I have included a small picture gallery, taken during my multiple visits to DX on Wednesday nights over the past semester. Enjoy...

Jackson eagerly filling bags with fried treats.

Tasting the product before sending it out eh John?

You're really good at that Jack.

So happy. What is your favorite dining hall on campus?

The Split Personality of Evan/Thomas/Bug Underwood

A lot of people know the Willard resident known as Evan T. Underwood, but at the same time, a lot of people are being fooled daily by this mystery man. You see, single personalities are for us lesser mortals such as myself. "Evan Underwood" actually has three personalities, which we will examine in full.

Evan Underwood This is classic Evan, the one most Blacksburg residents know and love. A child of mother nature, Evan enjoys trying to communicate with the birds and other small forest animals that inhabit the Willard property. Always on the lookout for a new place to hang a birdfeeder, Evan is in all probability the sole provider for most of the squirrels in a three mile radius. Quiet and thoughtful, Evan likes to reflect on things like the way strands of light hit the trees on a whimsical summer evening, or the leaves on the majestic sycamore tree after a cool, fall rain. This personality is probably active about 60% of the time.

Thomas Thomas (drawn from the T in Evan T. Underwood) is the professional, well-put together and quick thinking personality of Evan. Only on display when Evan is dressed and looking dapper in a full suit, Thomas espouses power and confidence with every step. Creative, forward thinking and full of leadership potential, Thomas would be an asset to any Fortune 500 company looking to make that next step. Thomas is not nearly as active as much as Evan is however, only available about 10% of the time.

Bug Unpredictable. Edgy. New. These words all come to mind when thinking about the man known simply as Bug. The name, taken from Michelle Underwood (the mother of Evan Underwood) was originally a nickname before blossoming into a fully separate personality. Bug's emotions are all over the place. Sometimes, super focused, he will be seen marching with a determined look in his eye off to conquer some ill-defined goal. Other times, he will simply disappear for days on end, with no word as to where he has been, and sometime seemingly no recollection of his previous whereabouts. Bug can also be outright aggressive, verbally and physically attacking his smaller and subservient brother, Adam Underwood. No matter what mood Bug is in, you can always expect the unexpected. Bug appears more frequently than Thomas, yet less frequently than Evan, about 30% of the time.

I hope this has given you some insight into the possible schizophrenic like symptoms displayed by Mr. Underwood and observed by the Willard House members. Can you think of any circumstances where you have witnessed Evan's personalities?

A Day in the life of James Harris

ZZZZZZ ZZZZ ZZzz zzzz zz... whats that? you can hear me snoring in the other room? Oh cool guys let's all make jokes about James skipping class again and act like he can't hear you. i'll just call jackson from bed to set things straight. I have a B in that class, besides i was up late watching dexter. it's almost 11am, time to take my favorite quilt that i may or may not have stolen from sam and sit on the couch in the other room- its part of my waking up routine. Now on to shower and flex in the mirror. Joe will never have powerful thighs like these, no matter how much protein he eats.

Headed to East Mont today to hangout at lunch, i really hope katie doesn't take the backroads- those things are dangerous. Too bad we won't be able to play basketball or volleyball during lunch today. I love beating high school kids in sports.

Back from the school and headed to class with jackson, i've been selected to act out part of a play in class. The professor only asked me to recite a few lines, but i figured i'd go the extra mile and paint my face green since i'm supposed to be a tree. I always love volunteering to participate in class skits. I want my teachers to like me, just in case i ever forget to turn in my final paper or something like that...

Home from class and its time to relax. Good thing i just got a hookah to smoke in my room while i listen to bob marley and wear my drug rug. Hopefully kyle will stand in the hallway and sing every word of every song. Why would he do that? He's a Lamers.

Date night tonight with allie, can't wait to wear my new chacos out on the town. On the way there i have the urge to fart, roll the windows up and laugh at allie... as much as this amuses me i decide against it- Maybe on the way home.

Got back just in time to sit with everyone on the porch. Maybe Casey will come over. He and Joe really like each other for some reason... i can't figure that one out.

Time for bed, but not before i guilt trip someone into going to Dx with me. Jackson and John are working tonight, my favorite. For some reason i get this strange satisfaction out of seeing Jackson at work. Not really sure why, but either way Dx is sooooo good. Can' wait to eat it in my onesie as i watch Dexter. I might sleep on the couch tonight. That way i'll definitely wake up in case some one tries to rob our house again. Better go grab my baseball bat from underneath my pillow, just in case. The bat is a little beat up, thanks to Jackson going at it with a machete a while back (still bitter about that), but it will do the job if the Willard thief happens by for round 2. Dexter is getting really intense. I start to breathe heavily and bite on my headphone cord-what was that noise behind me?!? I grab my bat to go investigate only to realize it was just a mouse. What a noisy 8th roommate. I sit back down to finish Dexter, can't wait to see how this episode ends. Its almost as entertaining as beating Joe in super smash bros. I miss my fish Zeta, and Zeta II at that. Maybe i should get another, I could name it Zeta III... zzz zzzzzz zzZZZ ZZZZZZ

Another Year Almost Gone

I know, I know. It has been quite the stretch of time since I have written a blog for the house. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I was trying to wait until Joe wrote a "Day in the Life of James" blog, but that day never came.

For the past few months, fans and groupies have been clambering for the day when they could read another blog post. Lucky for you, that day is today.

So for what may be the first blog of 2012, and definitely of March, I would like to update you on what the Willard House Residents have been up to for the New Year.

Evan "Bug" Underwood has been up to his usual antics. Much like Ray Mysterio and Wild Mongolian Camels, Evan is hard to pin down and even harder to track. From what I can tell, this last semester has been spent in and out of the house. He has started running about four miles a day, to get his already lean body in shape for his job this summer, where he will again be directing and doing hard manual labor.

"Skinny" Jackson Strawn hasn't had any real updates since the last time I blogged. He has however stopped his traditional mid-day naps, a routine which had kept him well rested and able to stay awake late into the night. Now, he enjoys going to bed around 9 oclock, after a warm glass of milk, a nice bath, and a massage from Sam Bowman.

John Carr is moving on up in the world. Soon to be a graduate of Virginia Tech, his after college plans remain vague. Go to KU grad school? Remain in Blacksburg? Go to Chesapeake? Do some other adventurous seemingly spur of the moment thing I've yet to hear about? Who knows. But We can all count on John to keep us guessing.

Sam Bowman will also be graduating this year along with JC. Currently working at the Virginia Tech scientific research place in Roanoke whose name escapes me, next year Sam will work there three days a week, and live in the basement dungeon by himself, as Joe is moving in with Evan topside. He plans on buying a nice couch, and possibly a plasma screen, 80 inch tv to take up an entire wall in his large dungeon of fun.

Jeremy Mateyk the Engineer of the house, Jeremy spends a considerable amount of time at the Werelab on campus, where they do engineering experiments trying to combine DNA of humans with wolves and stuff.

Joe Danehower Oh...the other engineer of the house, Joe has been dressing more and more like a dad all semester. Nice slacks with a plaid pattern dress shirt tucked in, along with sperrys make him look the part of a father of three off to a weekend Cookout at the church. Joe went to Ring Dance last weekend with Claire Waldrop and drives a lancer.

James Harris On a diet once again, James has been hungry and grumpy for the past few days. Additionally, he will be staying in Blacksburg this summer with Sam Bowman and Jackson Strawn, which is sure to be a good time.

Sorry this wasn't that funny,gimme a break though, as it has been a while since I've used the ole lightning wit.

<3's
James