Beginnings

Every year I've spent in Blacksburg, I've hated the winter. The cold, the wind, the slush/ice/snow/hail. It sucks. But this year is different. I don't seem to mind as much. You see, in a few short months, the men you know and love as the residents of 402 Willard Dr. will be leaving to embark on the next stage of life, wherever and whatever that may be.

I've noticed that when things begin to come to an end, it's good to look at the beginnings. Therefore, I have decided to give a brief rundown of how I met all the current residents of Willard (and John). I hope this post will make you laugh, cry, and experience a full spectrum of emotions which I don't have the time or desire to write here.

Joe Danehower wasn't always jacked and good looking as you might assume. When I first met Joe, he was a skinny little freshman wearing a Chantilly baseball sweatshirt who disliked conversations pertaining to anything besides the Old Testament. I met him the night of the YL freshman fellowship scavenger hunt. We were on the same team, running together joyfully around campus. As we squeezed ourselves into a porter john together with five other freshman. From that moment on, despite the obsession with Moses and skinny girl arms, I thought, you know I bet we will be good friends some day.

Sam Bowman lived down the hall from me freshman year. Skinny, ginger, and with a volatile attitude, I first met Sam while walking down the hall. I heard screams issuing from his room and looked in to see this choker necklace wearer yelling "DOUBLE KILL!" at the top of his lungs while playing Halo 2 against his bro suitemates. Naturally, I poked my head in and introduced myself. He looked at me with deadened eyes and said, "what's up." before turning back to the television and continuing his gaming. That was the end of our first interaction. Luckily things have gotten marginally better since!

Evan Underwood is a mystery to me. I can't recall for the life of me when I met him. However, the first interaction I do remember is with his room. Strolling around the quad on a warm spring day with John, Jackson and Sam; we hotshots (John) thought it would be a good idea to throw a tennis ball at his window (on the 7th floor). We watched as John threw the ball at Evan's window over and over again. After about ten minutes, an RA came up to us and politely asked him to stop. After a brief, but heated, argument. John feinted as if he was giving up and waited for the RA to walk away. In the brief moments when his back was turned, John was able to launch the tennis ball up and knock over Evan's window fan, before getting into another argument with the same RA.

John Carr, sometimes warmly referred to as "the king of Chesapeake," introduced himself to me a few weeks after graduation my senior year of high school. We were at an all area campaigners in great bridge, and some guys were chuckin the bee in the parking lot. He came up and asked if I wanted to be his roommate at Tech. I said I was living in the leadership dorm. He responded with "that sucks," before walking away.

Jeremy Mateyk was sitting beside me in one of the only Young Life Freshman Fellowships I went to first semester of Freshman year. When we broke up into groups to answer some question, I noticed we had the same Bible. I pointed this out and we both acted a lot more interested than we were in this fact, because we were freshman, and thus awkward.

Jackson Strawn is another house member who I can't recall how I met. I do remember however, that he would call me every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning at 9 a.m. and say he was waiting outside the PY arch so we could walk to New Testament together. Many mornings, I would decline because I was warm and cozy in my nice bed, and grades seemed like such a dumb thing to be concerned about back then. He would always call though, so consistent.

I was hoping this blog would be a lot funnier, since I haven't blogged in such a long time, but it started to make me sad after the second paragraph when I realized we were only going to be living together for another few months. Oh well though, all seasons must come to an end after all, but hopefully this blog will be a living testament to be read for years to come. Be on the lookout for more blogs soon!

Manti Te'o Discovers Grandmother Never Existed

           Still reeling from discovering that his girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, was an cruel hoax, Manti Te’o received word earlier today from his parents informing him that his grandmother,  Anette Santiago, also never existed “I just don’t understand how something like this could happen,” said an emotionally battered Te’o in an interview at 5 p.m. “she just seemed so real.”

            After her “death” in early September 2012, interviews with Te’o revealed the depth of their relationship. “You know every holiday Grammie would be there, and I would get these awesome gifts from her, and sometimes she was just as surprised as me, you know? She would play along like she didn’t know what was in the box either! I mean she was just a super endearing woman, whenever we would stand around and sing my traditional family songs she would always joke and look at me with this expression like “I don’t even know the words!”

            Teo’s parents were able to shed some light on the subject in a press conference at Notre Dame. “We just wanted him to have a grandmother figure,” said Manti’s father Brian, “is that so much to ask? Is it really that crazy to have hired an elderly Hawaiian woman to act as his grandmother at various family functions? Is it really that strange that when the said actress was diagnosed with Leukemia we just ran with it? I mean, what were we supposed to do, she was his fake grandmother after all.”

            Manti Te’o’s mother stood firmly by her husband. “I don’t get what is so wrong with this. We went through a lot of time and effort to make sure that he would grow up with a grandmother. You know how much it costs to get a 70 year old woman to come to our house every Christmas? A helluva lot more than you’re worth bub.”

            After repeated attempts to contact “Annette Santiago’s” family, we were unable to get any response.

            Although some would imagine that news like this would strain the relationship between Manti Te’o and his parents, they are closer than ever according to Manti. “In times like this, when you find out that important people in your life don’t actually exist, family is the only place you can turn.” Unfortunately, at the time of this article, Deadspin.com has reported that, in fact, three of Manti’s five sisters are not real either.