He Said: Halloween Costumes

I’m not a huge fan of Halloween. Ever since I grew too tall and neighborhood adults started making cynical comments and being misers with their candy, some of the magic of this scary day has worn off. However after a few years of college, I see that I am in a small and shrinking minority. College students treat Halloween with awe-inspiring reverence normally reserved for religious events and Hokie football. Weeks are spent before hand picking the best costume, arranging plans for which parties to attend and contemplating how much skin you can show before being charged with public indecency. Last year when temperatures dropped below freezing, the bitterness was almost palpable. At least until around 11 o’clock, when no one really seemed to care anymore.

                This year the weather is promising to be far better and folks on campus and beyond are in full swing of costume preparation. Chatter concerning the subject can be heard all over. Should I be a witch again? Are bunny costumes cliché? Pants: how necessary are they? These are the concerns of our generation.

                Although I claim to be no expert on the subject, I have been considering different fun costumes ideas for the past few days, jotting down notes and creepily giggling to myself in public. These are the few I came up with, so if you’re currently about to breakdown in an anxiety attack because you can’t choose between being Petey the Pirate and Scuba Steve; take heart, because you now have fallbacks.

Logan Thomas: Go invest in a number 3 jersey, acquire some stilts and you’re good to go. White pants are fine but if you go full pads more power to you.

Kanye West: You can dress up in shades and a leather jacket if you want, but this one is more about attitude. Compliment yourself constantly, refer to yourself as “Mr. West” in the third person, and interrupt people whenever possible.

Ke$ha: This one isn’t that creative and is probably verging on the point of overdone, but the concept of a major music artist spelling their name with a money sign is hilarious. To get this costume down, just don’t sleep or shower for a few days. Or do some meth. Your choice.

G.E.R.M.A.N. Club Program Salesman: Super easy. Dress Business Casual and rock some free VT shades. Carry around a week old program saying “5 dollars,” over and over.

Hipster: Go to any vintage clothing store (aka Goodwill) or just wear stuff that was popular in the 70’s. Ride a fixie, listen to some vinyls (it just sounds so much more authentic, you know?), and write a blog filled with self-angst. Be warned however, if you choose to dress too cool for school, you probably shouldn’t attend any Halloween bashes, way too mainstream.

So, if you are struggling to decide on your All Hallows Eve wardrobe, found my ideas ridiculously clever, or are Logan Thomas, you should consider trying out one of these. Or use one as a last resort. Either or.