4:30 AM: I don't sleep anymore. Similar to the terminator, ever since I moved to the North I find that I don't need to rest. I don't run off the same fuel that powered Arnold, but it's something close. All these fumes have chemically altered my body.
5:00 AM: I stand in front of my house and stare out across the snowy expanse. The cold wind brings what I guess could be considered a smile to my face. Such things as "happiness" and "joy" don't necessarily exist here, but it is a shadow of what smiling was like in Virginia. What a strange world it is below the Mason-Dixon line. Though I am overjoyed (or whatever the right emotion is) to be gone from there, at times... I... hmph. Nevermind.
6:30 AM: I put on my lab coat and head to the factory. I stand in perfect unison with the other Ford employees for morning inspection. Although many believe it to be gone, Fordinization of the worker is not just a history lesson, but alive and well. I am not referenced by my name, but only my number: Engineer 87206. I do not know my co-workers names, nor do I wish to. It is better this way. I begin my work on chassis design and remember the way Joe used to struggle through ESM. These feelings inside me... I can't...
9 AM: My supervisor comes over and gives me satisfactory marks for the morning. I sit in my eating pod and ingest the breakfast nutrients that are provided to keep my brain working at full capacity.
9:30: I receive a text from Samuel Jacob Bowman. My heart hurts. Today is a strange day indeed. Instead of returning to my work station, I sneak down to the bathroom and risk a text in the GroupMe app to my former roommates. A real smile comes to my face. What's happening to me?
High Noon: We are all gathered outside for a message from our President, CEO and Founder Henry Ford. Cryogenically frozen for years in his backyard tundra, he has recently been awakened and retaken the helm of his brainchild. He announces that we are going to be merging with McDonalds and Walmart in a massive merger. Something in the back of my mind makes me feel uneasy...
12:30 PM: I have been reassigned to the droid division. I am now in charge of making/commanding a battalion of battle-ready droids to invade the South. At first I am honored by this new assignment. But then the faces of all those I love in the south go through my head. Vinny, James, Big Mike, Bratwurst, Vinnie. I can't do this.
1:13 PM: I have come up with a plan. Engineer 87206 will not be the part of an evil plot to control the South under the cold northern regime. I re-engineer my battle-bots to my specifications.
1:15 PM: I work super fast. My newly programmed battalion and I break into the headquarters of the formerly cryogenically frozen Henry Ford. He and I have an intense battle of wits, play a few games of logic, sell some bluffs, and have a staring contest before I finally wrest control of Ford from him.
2:00 PM: I call all employees to the Courtyard. I introduce myself as new CEO, and then implement a smattering of new rules, including, but not limited to: Name use, Settlers of Catan Wednesdays, Chicken quesadilla Tuesdays, etc. etc.
3:00 PM: I am able to quell a rebellion of the last of Henry's followers, and start a new green energy campaign.
3:15 PM: I sit in my new office, overlooking the smiling, happy Ford employees. Part of me is thrilled, yes, but part of me is still sad. Sad because my heart and my soul belongs in the South, with the ones I love.
3:30 PM: I pick a random employee to be standing CEO while I take my leave of absence.
4:00 PM: My batallion of droids carries me to the South, where I collect my former roommates and we have a lovely dinner together at Sycamore Deli. Jimmy Fitch is performing.
8:00 PM: We sit outside the Willard house and reminisce. The droids laugh at the stories we tell about killing mice with machetes, and John breaking glass all over Sam's couch.
8:30 PM: I carry Bug into bed from the mini-ramp out back.
9:30 PM: I bid my friends farewell, and head back to the dirty tundra known as Detroit. Although I may live in the Northern Hemisphere, no longer will I be restrained by the emotionless grip that this culture tries to impose. I may be a northerner by birth, but I'm a Virginian in my heart.
10:00 PM: I fall asleep.
10:03 PM: I dream of Chud.
Beyond Blacksburg: The lives of the men who once lived in a home called Willard.
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