Shorts

For the past 10-12 years of my life, I have worn Cargo shorts.

Cool, stylish, and great for carrying lots of candy; cargo shorts always helped me out when needed. From formal, khaki cargoes to informal navy blue cargoes, I always had a pair that was ready to go, any time.

This past semester has been rough on every pair of shorts I own however. As time goes on, I grow taller, and naturally, my waistline starts to grow (in perfect proportion to my height)a bit. This has made my cargo shorts worn down, and at the end of the semester I noticed that every pair was either missing a button, or had a hole directly in the crotch from where my thighs rubbed through the shorts. (I have extremely large thighs.)

In addition to these disturbing happenings, I was informed a few months ago by my roommates that cargo shorts are no longer "cool" or "hip". They said that a fraternity had gone so far to ban this type of outerwear (article on cargo-ban)John said that I looked like a "pocketed idiot". Jackson cackled softly, and Sam broke it to me gently that cargo shorts were out, perhaps permanently. So now, three months later, I have done something about it.

I was sick of wearing shorts with holes in the crotch. I was sick of not having buttons, and my fly always coming undone. I was also sick of being the butt of everyone's cargo-jokes. So I went shopping the other night. With a J.C. Penny coupon in hand, and determination in my heart, I went shorts shopping. And I ended up with the bad boys you see in this blog. Salmon. Un-cargoed. A size above what I wear, so I have a bit more room in the waist in case of growth. Broish.

I hope your happy world/willard. You've broken my cargo-spirit. I now will wear these normal, unblemished shorts as long as possible. If cargo shorts ever do come back in style though, I will be ready and waiting to sew up a few crotches, attach a few buttons, and pull those pocketed dreams back up where they belong.

I hope this is the last time I have to say some of my clothes have gone out of style. I mean what's next, I can't wear my trucker hat anymore?

<3's
James C. Harris III