My Favorite Season

The leaves are changing colors, yoga pants are coming out in full force and freshmen are celebrating the completion of their first round of college examinations. That’s right, fall is in the air.

Remember in kindergarten how your teacher would make you draw a picture of your “favorite” season?  I, unable to decide, anxiety forcing my bladder almost to the bursting point, would sit frozen in my seat staring at my paper until she would come around to inspect them. Then I would grab a black crayon, squiggle a line and a snowman and resign myself to being a liar. I hate winter.

As the years passed, I would throw out different seasons as my favorite: summer because of the sun and the beach, spring because of the flowers and fall because of the ever so gentle chilly weather. But as a senior in college, I am firm in the fact that fall is the reigning champion of seasons. What is there not to love about it? Football, pretty leaves, multiple holidays and lots of pumpkin pie — it has something for everyone.

This is my last fall in Blacksburg, a time I have dreaded since first stepping on campus. I had never lived in the mountains before, yet I absolutely love the season here in the New River Valley. As I sit and contemplate this final hoorah, two things come to mind that I can eagerly await and that guarantee to be glorious occasions.

First off is Hallowillard. What is Hallowillard? Every year the house I live in and the apartments behind us throw a Halloween party of sorts for friends, family and the confused passersby. We turn our parking lot into an oasis of good old fashioned fun: carnival games, live music (Jimmy Fitch, check him out on Facebook) and possibly a petting zoo. We end the night with about 100 people square dancing, hoedown style. It’s tons of fun and you’re invited. Just head on down Willard Drive on Halloween night — you’ll know where to find us.

Second is Homecoming. Now, in years past, I have been one of the thousands who consider Homecoming as nothing more than a week filled with paper being shoved in your hands as you shuffle to class and a brief announcement at halftime. This year however, I have a personal stake in the race as my lovely girlfriend, Allie Golden, is on the court. She is kind, beautiful and almost unrealistically optimistic about everything. I have been busy helping her put up signs, wearing her T-shirt and changing my Facebook cover photo to the creepy face of Willy Wonka. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say vote for Al… but vote for Al.

No matter what you’re doing on Halloween or whether you dread Homecoming like the plague, make sure to take advantage of what fall has to offer. Hike the local trails, go to the football games, enjoy the beautiful landscape and eat pumpkin pie. You’ll only be in Blacksburg for so long: make the most of its best season.

He Said: Winter Weather

This is the article I spent the most time on thus far. Yay for editing... Shout out to twitter: JOHNXCARR for proofreading and a 20 minute phone call about dumb phrasing and story arcs.

I have a love/hate relationship with Blacksburg weather. Always surprising and shifty like a jungle cat, I love to live life on the edge, and the conditions in Blacksburg are always an adventure. Every Fall and Spring, waking up is filled with wonderment, will the rain continue until you start to consider building an ark and gathering two of each neighborhood animal? Will it be 80 degrees in mid-November? One never knows. What I do know, is that when the cold hands of Mother Nature descend upon the Burg, they come with a vengeance and are here to stay. The question remains unanswered as to why people respond to the frosty weather in the ways they do, but it is a fact that cold weather conditions never fail to cause people to dress in alien fashions which I do not understand. So, in the style of David Letterman, here is my top five list of dumb winter weather apparel.

5.  Thin Virginia Tech sweatshirts. I know that at least 50% of college students seem to own the classic Jansport sweatshirt in maroon, gray or orange with Virginia Tech stamped boldly on the front. Though these are a great asset for those not-quite-cold-only-slightly-chilly Fall days, midwinter they allow the icy tundra drill field winds to cut through you like a knife through butter. Fashion must take a backseat to warmth, no matter how much the Hokie Spirit has come upon you.

4.  Shorts. Its -13 degrees outside. You may want to have feeling in your legs in the next week or so.

3. Ugg Boots. They look like elephant feet. Don’t act like you don’t see it. Although I have never worn MUggs (Man Uggs) and cannot attest to how warm or comfortable they are, I do have eyes and can see that they are solely composed of cottonballs and recycled yoga mats. Blacksburg winters guarantee precipitation on the reg, and these boots clearly cannot stand up to the demands which the lakes of sidewalk slush daily make.

2. Pajama bottoms. Flimsy and unflattering, this fashion faux pas leads to nowhere but despair for the wearer and onlookers during the harsh winter months. I was a freshman once, and the temptation to wake up 3 minutes before a class, slip on shoes and go is one I can relate with. However, with experience comes wisdom, and I can confirm that these comfy monsters do little to negate the wind, rain, or ridgelines of the nether regions. Heed this advice and turn away from the appeal fellas. You’ll thank me later.

1. Yoga Pants/Leggings. These are the most unrealistic clothing item that any college student has ever dared to wear in Blacksburg winters. Now, speaking from familiarity, there isn’t much nicer than a set of UnderArmour heat gear to keep everything down below warm and cozy. I can promise though that there is always a layer safely on top of these conforming insulators. Girl leggings and yoga pants are a different story. Constructed without considering things like warmth, effectiveness, or decency; there is no chance that the millimeter of fabric stretched over the southern hemisphere of your body is providing any protection from the wind or the carnivorous eyes of your male classmates.

What do I recommend you ask? Layers. There’s hardly a worse feeling than walking from frigid conditions into a classroom which has been conserving heat since last June. You do not want to be in McBryde at 9 in the morning pouring sweat because of your thick woolen sweater.  Layers are the answer. Shed ‘em when you don’t need ‘em, use ‘em when you do. Take a page out of Shrek’s book and consider the majestic onion.

At the end of the day however, I am no fashion or heat transfer expert; just a simple man, trying to stay as warm as possible. As winter arrives, wear what you want; you’re all intelligent adults and can decide what garment will or will not prevent you from having frostbite come evening.