He Said: Winter Weather

This is the article I spent the most time on thus far. Yay for editing... Shout out to twitter: JOHNXCARR for proofreading and a 20 minute phone call about dumb phrasing and story arcs.

I have a love/hate relationship with Blacksburg weather. Always surprising and shifty like a jungle cat, I love to live life on the edge, and the conditions in Blacksburg are always an adventure. Every Fall and Spring, waking up is filled with wonderment, will the rain continue until you start to consider building an ark and gathering two of each neighborhood animal? Will it be 80 degrees in mid-November? One never knows. What I do know, is that when the cold hands of Mother Nature descend upon the Burg, they come with a vengeance and are here to stay. The question remains unanswered as to why people respond to the frosty weather in the ways they do, but it is a fact that cold weather conditions never fail to cause people to dress in alien fashions which I do not understand. So, in the style of David Letterman, here is my top five list of dumb winter weather apparel.

5.  Thin Virginia Tech sweatshirts. I know that at least 50% of college students seem to own the classic Jansport sweatshirt in maroon, gray or orange with Virginia Tech stamped boldly on the front. Though these are a great asset for those not-quite-cold-only-slightly-chilly Fall days, midwinter they allow the icy tundra drill field winds to cut through you like a knife through butter. Fashion must take a backseat to warmth, no matter how much the Hokie Spirit has come upon you.

4.  Shorts. Its -13 degrees outside. You may want to have feeling in your legs in the next week or so.

3. Ugg Boots. They look like elephant feet. Don’t act like you don’t see it. Although I have never worn MUggs (Man Uggs) and cannot attest to how warm or comfortable they are, I do have eyes and can see that they are solely composed of cottonballs and recycled yoga mats. Blacksburg winters guarantee precipitation on the reg, and these boots clearly cannot stand up to the demands which the lakes of sidewalk slush daily make.

2. Pajama bottoms. Flimsy and unflattering, this fashion faux pas leads to nowhere but despair for the wearer and onlookers during the harsh winter months. I was a freshman once, and the temptation to wake up 3 minutes before a class, slip on shoes and go is one I can relate with. However, with experience comes wisdom, and I can confirm that these comfy monsters do little to negate the wind, rain, or ridgelines of the nether regions. Heed this advice and turn away from the appeal fellas. You’ll thank me later.

1. Yoga Pants/Leggings. These are the most unrealistic clothing item that any college student has ever dared to wear in Blacksburg winters. Now, speaking from familiarity, there isn’t much nicer than a set of UnderArmour heat gear to keep everything down below warm and cozy. I can promise though that there is always a layer safely on top of these conforming insulators. Girl leggings and yoga pants are a different story. Constructed without considering things like warmth, effectiveness, or decency; there is no chance that the millimeter of fabric stretched over the southern hemisphere of your body is providing any protection from the wind or the carnivorous eyes of your male classmates.

What do I recommend you ask? Layers. There’s hardly a worse feeling than walking from frigid conditions into a classroom which has been conserving heat since last June. You do not want to be in McBryde at 9 in the morning pouring sweat because of your thick woolen sweater.  Layers are the answer. Shed ‘em when you don’t need ‘em, use ‘em when you do. Take a page out of Shrek’s book and consider the majestic onion.

At the end of the day however, I am no fashion or heat transfer expert; just a simple man, trying to stay as warm as possible. As winter arrives, wear what you want; you’re all intelligent adults and can decide what garment will or will not prevent you from having frostbite come evening.

Senior Update

Already a month into Senior year, I feel it is high time for an update on your favorite house's members. What they've been up to, what they will be up to, and what they are up to.

Joe Danehower- Still jacked and still an engineer (surprisingly) Joe is off to the races already on his future, frantically researching grad schools but somehow still maintaining a strict workout regimen. He did get semi-offered a job in Boston (Congratulations Joe!) when asked about it he said, "Screw that, I'm not a dirty Yank." Joe has also started to try and take the helm of the hipster that John Carr left at Willard when he moved to the Midwest. Joe has started listening to mainstream hipster bands, and wearing button-downs exclusively.

Jeremy Mateyk- Still from the North, Jeremy is in his toughest semester so far at Tech, but still seems to be comfortably going on strong and steady as always. Already looking forward to next semester which contains 3 credit hours and lots of time at the Weirlab, Jeremy is maturing and considering jobs across the South, which like an epic romance novel, he has fallen in love cannot imagine living without her.

Evan Underwood- Though time may pass and the years may slow him down, Bug will be Bug. Still a hunter at heart, Bug has been advertising on Craig's List for land on which he can use his Elven bow and arrow. Unfortunately, Bug is not the most computer saavy person on the internet and posted his personal cell and email on CL. After receiving calls and emails concerning private meetings and dirty websites, he has removed his listing.

Sam Bowman- I guess Sam is still doing research in Roanoke. None of us really know what he is up to, because we don't go to Roanoke when he leaves the house. Maybe one day this semester I'll try and follow him without him noticing all day. That would be fun. Anyway, Sam's considering options for next year as well, and seems to be leaning towards moving to the jungles of New Guinea to become one with the culture and spread the Good News. Also, he hears there are tons of wild boars waiting to be attacked with a spear.

Jackson Strawn- Long and lean like a cat, Jackson has been back up to his old, sly tricks this semester. Still employed at DX, he has been working hard both academically and as a member of the food service alliance. He enjoys spending time with Miss Sierra Kimbel Freeze, and seems to always be going to her home to "chill," whatever that means.

James Harris- Stressed to the max by his extreme course load this semester, James is staying positive and in control. Currently filling out seminary applications, he plans to know where he will be next year by the end of October (looks like Charlotte is the front runner). Yes, I did just write this in third person.

John Howard Carr- Lawrence, Kansas. Employed by the local Boys and Girls Club as far as I can tell by his multiple instagrams and tweets.

Doug- On the trail

He Said: Sustainability

This was probably my least favorite topic to write on thus far.

When considering what to write about this week concerning the topic of sustainability, I felt woefully unprepared. The environment is a difficult thing to joke about, unless you are South Park talking about Al Gore. Comedy is always my go-to when writing about something I know little to nothing about.

Sustainability is not something I consider daily or really think about. This is not an excuse for my lack of concern for the future of our planet, but it is, I believe, a common standpoint of young adults. Why think about tomorrow when everything seems fine today? In fact, the only time my mind turns to sustainability is when it affects me directly through gas prices, and I send up a quick prayer for my car to somehow start running off water.

As sustainability week is upon us, it gives us all an opportune time to reflect on our habits that are hurting the environment. This planet is a gift to us and we need to be good stewards of it. Google searching pictures of pollution, images of smokestacks spewing dark clouds and cartoons of the earth sneezing are prevalent. The image that comes to my mind about the future, however, is from the movie “The Book of Eli.”

In a world that has been devastated by a nuclear war, the opening scene is a forest with ash steadily falling from the sky like snow with Denzel Washington wearing a gas mask. Though this is a bit of a stretch, from the amount of waste we produce and put in landfills, I’ve got to acknowledge that the earth is probably not doing too well.

I know that in the coming week I’m going to investigate the different programs this area has set in place to reduce pollution and promote sustainability. Not because I have a deep desire to, but rather because it is my responsibility as a member of the youngest generation to consider what the world is going to look like for my children and grandchildren if we continue on this pace of destruction.

I’m not asking you to become a hippie, start wearing tie-dye and homemade shoes made out of burlap. Nor am I saying that we should all convert our Volkswagen vans to run off vegetable oil and drive around talking about mother earth and father sky. What I am saying is that we should consider our habits and possibly change them in order to make a small difference.

When eating at West End, don’t order your food to go then sit down; eat it and throw your container on the dish return. When you leave your apartment or dorm room in the morning for class, be conscientious and turn off the lights. Ride, walk or carpool to campus. Whatever it is you decide, just try and stick to it and form a sustainable habit.

Sorry this article wasn’t funny or witty or what not. As I write it, I’m not feeling that humorous — more sad really. Google search images of pollution or landfills, and get a glimpse of what we’re doing to the earth. In the end, it’s really not that funny at all.

He Said: Victoria's Secret Concert

Third He Said! From September 13th, 2012.

Last year, Virginia Tech student’s facebook, twitter, and other social media accounts were overrun with notifications about the Victoria’s Secret Collegiate Showdown. We were locked in battle through several rounds with other notable universities, but were able to come together and win a free concert by Victoria’s Secret. Throughout the process, I was shocked and slightly disappointed by the amount of people who got behind this contest. Not because it wasn’t enough people, or because people weren’t passionate about getting support; quite the opposite really. I was upset because of the vast amount of people who were passionate and trying to rally others to the cause; a cause which frankly doesn’t matter.

We live in a society that’s all about me. The American Dream has been twisted and clichéd into the self-serving, instant gratification monster that it is today. When we live like this, we miss out on the opportunity to help others and truly make a difference.

What we need isn’t the Gym Class Heroes signing on the drillfield. What we need a change of heart toward service and self-sacrifice. When you work towards having a spirit of compassion, you get to see the world as it really is: a broken place filled with beautiful lost people, who need help.

Don’t get me wrong though, I understand that thus far I’ve sounded pretty high and righteous, pointing the finger at others and not seeing flaws in myself. I know it’s tough to serve, to put yourself in a humbling position, sacrificing time, money and resources. Thankfully, Virginia Tech is filled with loving service organizations who strive to facilitate students in helping those less fortunate.

A few groups in particular come to mind right away. Over the past few years, I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with Bryan Wynkoop, one of the most serving and passionate people I’ve met. He is a big part of putting on Relay for Life every year at Tech, and does a great job of making it fun and effective. Each year through Relay, Virginia Tech students raise hundreds of thousands of dollars to find the cure for cancer. Students Helping Honduras is another great organization here at Tech, they work to raise money and send help to build orphanages in impoverished regions of Honduras, and be a light to kids down there who have frequently been unloved and forgotten.

 So today, as your downloading Nickelback in order to get the sound of the Gym Class Heroes out of your ears, and signing up for the Hanes Collegiate Showdown, consider checking out a service organization and getting involved. Who knows maybe it’ll even be more fulfilling than the Victoria’s Secret free concert. Guess there’s only one way to find out.

He Said: Awkward Classmates

This is the second installment of my He Said Article, printed on September 7th, 2012.

He said:

I've always been a fan of people watching.

Not in a stalker kind of way, but rather in a humorous, waiting-for-others-to-fail kind of way.

My experiences have consisted of being in the dining halls watching someone sit at a table surrounded by others— but somehow enthralled while listening to Korn — and hanging in the Peddrew-Yates archway my freshman year during snowy winter nights and cheering when people ate it down the death trap stairs by D2.

I've always enjoyed the sport of sitting back and seeing how others operate. I’ve found however that the most satisfying place to people watch is in class.

We’ve all been there before. There's the shady looking guy sitting by the door, tense, waiting patiently for the professor to break in their talking, and he starts to get up. Then he sits back down when the steely eyes of a sixty-year-old business scholar scans his side of the room. He tenses again, then, as quietly as possible, grabs his bag and whisks out the door and off to Owens to beat the lunch rush or home for a rewarding mid-morning nap.

Sadly, I know I’ve been the watchee rather than the watcher before. The most embarrassing moment of my life happened in front of 11 classmates and my elderly humanities professor.

I’m not proud of what happened, and it remains a story of constant amusement among my roommates and close friends. It was a late afternoon class — the kind no one really wants to be in — on a Wednesday, when the subject matter is significantly less than stimulating. It’s not unusual for your eyes to begin to feel heavy and start to slip down.

Unfortunately, on this day I was feeling a bit… well, gassy. I knew falling asleep would be a bad move. But once your eyes are already on the way south and there’s no caffeine around, there’s no stopping it. I fought it off for as long as I could, but eventually I lost the battle and fell soundly asleep at my desk in the middle of the room.

It could’ve been one minute or it could have been forty — I’ll never know. I remember very clearly however, the exact moment I woke up. A sound like that of ripping paper awakened me from my slumber. My eyes shot open, but I managed to keep my head very still, leaning on my hand, not moving my body at all. Though I acted quickly and kept up the front of being sleepy and uninterested, I felt my face become warm and red.

The professor paused briefly from her lecture on Japanese religious beliefs, and my eyes met my roommate Jackson who, fortunately or not, sat next to me in this class. He gave me a quizzical look and mouthed the words, “Did you just fart?”

I nonchalantly shook my head no and lazily pointed to my shoe. Satisfied, he returned to taking his notes. My eyes weren’t heavy the rest of class, my heart pounding beneath my shirt. As class ended I shot out the door, happy to be away from the eyes of my judging peers, and swore to myself that never again would I fall asleep in class.

Though that promise has been broken since, I have continued to be an avid people-watcher — and watchee. I encourage you, whether you’re an average people-watcher or not, to take a stab at it and see what you can see.

I promise you’ll laugh, chuckle and at the very least, be much more wary of falling asleep in class.

He Said "Advice to Freshmen"

You may or may not know, but I'm currently the "He Said" writer for the Collegiate Times. It's a featured article where a girl and myself give our opinions and advice on different topics. This is the first week's topic, on "Advice to Freshmen." It was printed in the Collegiate Times on August 31st. He said: Ah, the most wonderful time of the year is upon us again. Pencils have been sharpened, the prices of backpacks and calculators have steadily crept up, and anxiety has wrapped its clammy hands around the hearts of those who are beginning their final year before graduation. That’s right, school has started. One of the most exciting parts of the new school year — for me at least — is the appearance of freshmen onto our beautiful campus. I know over the next four years they will make some of the best friends they could ask for, have tons of new and exciting experiences, and hopefully find that thing they are passionate about. Sure, watching them haul in unnecessary amounts of furniture and other bulky items up flights of stairs, with grumpy fathers and crying mothers gives me a certain perverse sense of pleasure that’s hard to describe, but that is neither here nor there. With the arrival of these young men and women on our campus, I think back to the days of old when I was entering campus for the first time. I can still feel the mixed feelings of excitement and dread as I watched my parents get back into their car and drive off into the sunset. Since the transition from high school to college was mildly difficult to say the least, I would like to give a few pieces of advice to the newest Hokies to make this change as painless as possible. First off, if a stranger ever yells and asks, “Are you a freshman?” say, "No." While walking down a street off campus at night my freshman year, a voice yelled this from a balcony. Naturally, I said yes, and was immediately sprayed with a super-soaker. As I walked back to campus with my pants soaked and my pride dampened, I found myself reevaluating the decisions that led me to this unpleasant point. It’s an extreme example, but is a lesson well learned nonetheless. Secondly, don’t spend all of September eating your meals with every freshman on your hall. It’s understandable that you don’t want to miss out on meeting someone who could become your best friend, but instead of 40 people eating at D2 every night, just grab a few people and eat together in a smaller, more intimate setting. That way you can actually get to know them and identify them by their personality as opposed to their room number, hometown and hair color. Finally, learn to go with the flow. This may or may not be your first time living in the same room with someone who isn’t your little brother. Don’t get bothered by trivial matters, because well, they’re trivial. If they snore, they can’t help it; don’t be paranoid and think they are trying to force you to have a mental breakdown. Go in to every possible roommate conflict understanding it may partly be your fault, and try to see it from their point of view. Also, save yourself a lot of time and hurt feelings by addressing the problem with them directly first. Don’t talk about it with the girls across the hall or with your buddies downstairs. It’s probably a simple fix and doesn’t need to be gossiped about. I hope some of this advice helps you, and if it doesn’t you’ll learn lessons the hard way and be a better person because of it. Enjoy the next four years class of 2016. I can guarantee you they’ll be best yet.

John's Getting Hitched

I recently received some news that surprised me, and also made me reevaluate the last three years of college. I am not John Carr's best man. I know, it shocked me too. The expected phone call never came. For weeks I sat down every evening by my phone and waited patiently for it to ring and hear my former housemates voice gleefully informing me of my honor and duty to be his second, his right hand, his brother at arms per say. But as time passed and I did not receive a call, it began to dawn on me that perhaps I hadn't been selected. Then I heard the news, and it was concrete. As you can imagine, I took this pretty hard. As a last ditch effort to vault myself into the best man spot, I have included the following Best Man Speech, which I have been planning for the past few years. Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends, Family and other various wedding attendees. I consider it an honor to be speaking here at the Wedding of a man who considers me to be his closest friend and confidant, yes, I am speaking about the illustrious John Carr. *Hand motion towards John* Now many of you probably think you know John pretty well. I would like to ask you tonight to reconsider. I want you to question how well you actually know John Howard Carr, son of The Colonel and Mary Carr, originally of Ohio. *wave to all Carrs in attendance* You see over the past two years, I learned a lot about John Carr. Some things I would rather forget, but most were educational, and gave me deep insight into the heart of the groom. *pause for dramatic effect* First, a lot of people would consider John "abrasive" *finger quotations* or "intimidating," *finger quotations* but these could not be farther from the truth. John Carr and Becca Fitz *acknowledge Becca* are the two nicest people I have ever met. You may not know it first with John, but maybe one day John says something to you that cooks your grits, and you lash out in anger. John is the kind of guy who hates there to be friction in relationships, he immediately tries to solve the problem and make things right. Secondly, a lot of you might be thinking, "John's too hipster and fashion chic to be my best friend." And let me tell you right now, you are correct. John is the second most fashionable guy here, second only to me. If you've ever wondered how John went off to college and his wardrobe suddenly consisted of more than ripped HaRdCoRe t-shirts, it's because he started wearing my hand me downs. As some of you may know I gained a significant amount of weight in college, and had to get new clothes. Well, the old ones had to go somewhere, and John jumped on the opportunity. *jump forward playfully* Third,a lot of you may be under the impression that the surfboard hanging on our house is because John is the "surfer". Well, kind of, there's two of us, and right now you're looking at the good one. *shred knucks* Since this information may be coming as a shock to some of you, I've included some time here for a moment of silent reflection... Well.. what more can I say? John you're a great guy, and I am happy you consider me your best friend. It's been a pleasure watching you grow and mature these past few years, and best of luck to you and Stef in the future. Can't wait for the three of us to leave on the honey moon tomorrow, Florida Keys here I come! To John and Stef *toast* In all honesty though John, I speak for all the housemates when we say we're proud and excited for you to start this new season in your life. We can't wait to be reunited at your wedding, and to support you in this next step. We love you, miss you, and in a couple weeks after a 20 hour bus ride, we'll see you again.